Hey God?

It's almost 4 AM and I still haven't ventured on into the sweet, lush meadows of sleep. Blogging just seems so much more interesting right now, and what better to pass the time than to try to answer some questions intended for atheists?

Lo and behold, I have found Questions for God instead! These questions are so inane, so stupid, that I can't believe atheists would write them.

Why do you let your followers murder and rape us? Why do you let your Catholic priests sodomize our precious children? I think it's safe to say that we really don't like this. Isn't your Catholic hierarchy hand chosen by you from the top down? Are you afraid to admit to making a mistake in your choices? Can you please admit the mistake and let our children grow up in a normal, ethical and safe environment?

Honey, they murder and rape everybody, not just you because you're special. Catholic priests and nuns sexually molest children because they are sexually repressed, crazy, and they're human beings like everyone else who's fucked up in this world. To explain why they're crazy, I read in a Playboy magazine that there was a nun who raped a young girl to "get the devil out of her." Anyway, what are YOUR children (supposedly atheist children) doing around Catholic priests? These questions are so stupid.

Why do you make your followers suffer so much? Why do they die at the hands of other religions? Can't you put a stop to this? You're omnipotent, right? Can you 'show us your stuff'? Why do you let all those Church buses crash? Why do you let all your religious followers die in plane crashes, terrorist attacks, car accidents, famines, floods, hurricanes, tornados, etc.? Is this part of 'Your Plan'? If you needed more Angels or something, why didn't you just create more Angels? Why do you cause so much pain down here? Are you sadistic?

Everyone suffers, believers and nonbelievers alike. If people stopped dying, then no one would be going to heaven or hell, would they? People have to die sometime, otherwise our world would be more overpopulated than it already is. And fuck this Angel shit. Also, pain is a natural part of life - without it, you wouldn't get to fully appreciate joy. As for that last part, of course God is a sadist. He likes watching the nonbelievers burn.

Links to read when I've had sleep:
Atheism 101
Answers to 11 Questions for Atheists